My Story
I’ve been in and out of talk therapy over the years, mostly because it was a requirement during some of the programs I had to complete. Therapy is one of those things that sounds good in theory—someone helping you untangle your emotions and guiding you through the mental clutter. But here’s the truth I’ve realized: the real issue isn’t that we don’t know our feelings—it’s that we aren’t honest enough with ourselves to admit them.
Think about it. A lot of feelings are uncomfortable—embarrassing, even. Admitting certain emotions to yourself can hit your self-esteem in ways you’re not ready to deal with. And when we lie to ourselves about what we’re truly feeling, we create this disconnect. That’s when people turn to therapists—to decipher emotions they don’t want to confront on their own. But if you have the courage to be brutally honest with yourself, you start to notice something: you don’t need anyone else to tell you what’s going on in your mind. You can identify your own feelings, even the uncomfortable ones.
For me, being honest with myself is a skill I’ve had to develop out of necessity—especially since I’m managing bipolar disorder without medication. I’ve learned to clock my mood changes, recognize triggers, and make adjustments so I can feel the way I want to feel. But that kind of self-awareness only comes when you’re willing to face your emotions head-on, without sugarcoating them.
Talk Therapy and My Experience
Don’t get me wrong—I’m not against therapy. I just haven’t found a therapist that truly worked for me. I’ve participated in therapy sessions as recently as last year when it was offered for free through a telemedicine program. I figured, Why not? But the truth is, it did absolutely nothing for me. The therapist had a thick accent, and I couldn’t connect with him at all. It felt like I was just going through the motions, checking off a box, rather than actually gaining anything meaningful from the experience.
That’s not to say therapy isn’t valuable—it absolutely can be. I just haven’t found a therapist that fits me or my needs. And honestly? I’ve come to realize that no therapist can help me if I’m not willing to be honest with myself first. The real work starts with me, whether I’m sitting across from a therapist or not.
What I’ve Learned from My Experience
Navigating mental health, especially without medication, means relying heavily on self-awareness. For me, it all starts with thoughts. Thoughts create feelings, and those feelings drive actions. If I want to feel a certain way, I need to address the thoughts behind those feelings. That’s where introspection comes in.
When I notice myself spiraling, I take a step back and ask:
- What am I really thinking right now?
- Is this thought serving me, or is it sabotaging me?
- What triggered this thought in the first place?
It’s not easy—some thoughts and feelings are uncomfortable to admit, even to myself. But if I ignore them, they build up and throw me off balance. When I catch them early, though, I can shift my mindset and get back in control. That’s where curating my life around my triggers comes in. I adjust my routines, interactions, and mindset to support the way I want to feel.
My Tip for Managing Your Mental Health
Therapy can be a helpful tool, but it’s not the only tool. The real power lies in being honest with yourself. When you can admit your feelings—no matter how messy or uncomfortable—they lose their grip over you. From there, you can start to notice patterns, recognize triggers, and make choices that support your well-being.
If therapy works for you, great. But if it doesn’t, that’s okay too. You don’t need someone else to validate your experiences for them to be real. Start with self-awareness, and you’ll be surprised how much control you can reclaim over your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
This is what’s worked for me: clocking my mood changes, addressing unhelpful thoughts, and building a life that allows me to feel the way I want to feel. It’s not a perfect system, but it’s mine—and for now, that’s more than enough.