My Story
When I was sentenced to 5 years and 10 months, I didn’t know that time behind bars would end up being one of the most important phases of my life. It gave me the space to look in the mirror and really see myself—flaws, habits, and all. Before my sentence, my life was a mess. I was caught up in the fast lane—promiscuity, drugs, chasing money. I was a horrible friend, an even worse mother, and a terrible family member. But during my bid, everything changed. I had no choice but to sit with myself and face the person I had become.
It was during those years that I realized I needed to curate my life—not just make a few adjustments, but completely reshape my world to stay clean, stay healthy, and become the person I knew I could be.
How I Curated My Life After Prison
When I was released, I knew things had to be different. I couldn’t go back to the lifestyle that had gotten me into trouble in the first place. So, I made some big decisions. One of the most important changes was the people I surrounded myself with. I reconnected with loved ones who were healthy and stable—the ones who weren’t tied to the world I had been in before prison. I also entered into a committed relationship with someone who supported my growth, which helped me stay grounded.
Every recovery program will tell you the same thing: a healthy support system is non-negotiable. You can’t stay clean if you’re surrounded by toxic influences. But support alone isn’t enough. I had to change, too.
Facing Myself and Changing My Habits
During my time inside, I had to confront some hard truths about myself. I realized that I had been selfish—always putting myself first, even when it hurt the people I cared about. So, I worked on becoming more selfless. I started practicing gratitude and finding ways to show up for the people I love. I had to build better habits from the ground up because the old ones were no good.
One of my biggest triggers is feeling helpless. It’s tied to my need for control—something I’ve struggled with for as long as I can remember. I’m a control freak, and in the past, whenever things felt out of my control, I would spiral. So, a big part of curating my life has been learning serenity and acceptance. I had to understand that not everything is within my power, and that’s okay. Some things need to be let go, and that’s where my peace comes from. It’s not easy—it’s a constant practice—but I’ve learned that acceptance doesn’t mean weakness. It means freedom.
What I’ve Learned from Curating My Life
- Surround Yourself with Healthy People: Your environment matters. The people you let into your life can either pull you up or drag you down. Choose wisely.
- Identify Your Triggers and Adjust Your Life Accordingly: Knowing what sets me off has been a game-changer. I know I feel overwhelmed when things get out of control, so I work on what I can control and let the rest go.
- Selflessness Brings Peace: Being selfish only made me feel more disconnected. Learning to show up for others and practice gratitude has brought me a sense of peace I never had before.
- Serenity and Acceptance are Key: Trying to control everything only made my life harder. Learning to accept what I can’t change has been one of the most valuable lessons on my journey.
My Tip for Curating Your Life Around Your Triggers
If you’re trying to make lasting changes, start by getting honest with yourself. Figure out what triggers you, and don’t just identify them—make the necessary adjustments. It could mean cutting people off, changing your environment, or developing new habits that align with the person you want to become.
It won’t happen overnight, and you’ll have setbacks, but that’s okay. It’s about progress, not perfection. The key is to stay intentional—curate a life that supports the way you want to feel and aligns with your goals. Remember, you are the architect of your life. The more you build with intention, the closer you’ll get to living the life you want.
This is my journey. It’s messy, it’s raw, but it’s mine—and I’m proud of the person I’m becoming. Curating my life around my triggers has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it’s also the most rewarding. And if I can do it, so can you.