My Story
Growing up in Jamaica, I was labeled as “hyperactive” by doctors. Their advice was simple: “Keep her occupied.” No big deal, right? But when my family moved to the U.S., things changed quickly. Suddenly, the narrative around me shifted, and the new doctors diagnosed me with ADHD. They wanted to put me on Ritalin. My mom wasn’t having it, though. She refused to give me the meds, and just like that, I was left to figure it all out on my own—navigating childhood and adolescence with undiagnosed and untreated ADHD.
By the time I hit my teenage years, things got more complicated. I started using substances, trying to self-medicate without even knowing that’s what I was doing. That road took me places I never thought I’d end up—jail, rehab, rinse and repeat. At 21, I finally got a more serious diagnosis: Bipolar Disorder. They put me on Depakote and Risperdal, but the side effects were unbearable. I felt like a zombie—there, but not really there. It was like my mind was muffled under a heavy blanket, and I knew deep down that this wasn’t how I wanted to live.
So, I made a decision: I would try to manage my bipolar without medication.
Now, here I am at 38, still learning how to navigate my mental health unmedicated. It hasn’t been easy, but through trial, error, and some deep introspection, I’ve found a way to better understand myself. I clock my mood changes, identify my triggers, and create space in my life to manage them. It’s not perfect, but it’s real. And for me, that’s what matters.
And most importantly, don’t be afraid to do it your way. Whether that means medication, therapy, meditation, or a mix of all three—your journey is valid, and so are you.
What I’ve Learned from This Journey
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that self-awareness is everything. Without medication to stabilize my moods, I’ve had to become hyper-observant of myself—almost like a mental health detective. It’s not enough to just feel something; I need to understand where it’s coming from. Am I triggered? Tired? Overwhelmed?
I’ve also learned that mental health isn’t a one-size-fits-all journey. Just because certain treatments work for others doesn’t mean they’ll work for me. And that’s okay. I’ve had to give myself permission to do things my way and trust that I know myself better than anyone else.
Another big takeaway is grace—grace for myself when I fall short, grace for the days I just can’t “push through,” and grace for the people around me as they try to understand what living with bipolar looks like from the inside. Managing mental health isn’t about perfection; it’s about progress.
My Tip for Anyone Navigating Mental Health Challenges
Whether you’re managing a diagnosis with or without medication, the key is creating a life that supports your mental well-being. This means setting boundaries, identifying your triggers, and building routines that make life easier, not harder. Be proactive—don’t wait until you’re in crisis to reflect on what’s working and what’s not. Keep track of your moods, even if it’s just a note on your phone. The more you understand yourself, the better you can manage.
This is my story. It’s messy, it’s unfiltered, but it’s mine. Mental health isn’t always linear, and I’ve learned that’s okay. What matters is that I keep showing up—for myself, for my family, and for this beautiful, complicated life